Hello Dr. Ora Golan, an expert in neutralizing emotional barriers from the Ora Golan Center, today we will talk about maintaining a quality relationship. How do you maintain a quality relationship?
Most couples think that a quality relationship that has a good relationship and good tension and the couple becomes a good team exists only in legends. In fact, a good, quality relationship can last for 20 years. If you feed the relationship it is possible. People tend to think that falling in love is something that disappears after a few years and then you just learn to live together, which is really not the case. This is why most couples do not strive for a quality relationship because it does not seem to them something that can be achieved.
I will give some examples:
Relationships with power struggles. In such a relationship there are always quarrels when each spouse tries to prove he is right and the other party is wrong, the couple puts these quarrels into this relationship into a relationship instead of building communication. There are also those who think they can change each other, and they get into endless struggles and quarrels.
Deborah and Danny are a married couple with three children. Danny is the breadwinner who brings the money and comes home relatively late and Deborah’s role as a housewife is to be with the children at home, and to take care of the house. Deborah did not trust Danny at all when he was with the children. And for Danny it is very convenient that a bee is at home so he never became interested and / or asked what he could help with and so over time a distance was created. On the other hand when their daughter got sick Danny without confusion shouted at Deborah that she was not properly fulfilling her role as a parent.
Deborah and Danny came for treatment to neutralize the emotional barriers and already in the middle even before they finished the process, suddenly they managed to put things in proportion and see what is important and what is not, learned to trust each other and work as a team: Danny learned to appreciate and praise Deborah for her work at home. The patients, etc. And Deborah has learned to appreciate Danny’s hard work as a sole breadwinner and his coping with all the hardships out there.
Sterile relationship . ‘I’m in a relationship but I’m not there,’ ‘We are both together and each other separately’
A sparkling relationship . It’s a relationship that on the outside everything looks beautiful and shiny but on the inside everything is empty and meaningless. “I go out with someone because he looks good, is considered, is a lawyer or a doctor or he earns well in high-tech / she is a model, she is from a good family.” There are pairs that are formed on this basis.
Jordan and Yuval are 20-year-old guys who met on a post-army trip to the Far East: Jordan is from a respectable family and lives in a prestigious area in the country, and Yuval is a kibbutznik, a guy who does not come with many assets. When they were away from the family everything was fine and they had a very good relationship, but when they returned to Israel and Yuval had to meet the family fakes and creaks started. After one time Yuval came to meet Jordan’s family, she told him it was over, and it had no chance to continue. Yuval arrived at the treatment very broken, injured and amazed. He did not understand the matter at all and what happened, but in the end after neutralizing the emotional barriers he realized that it is better to do so, because it is better not to enter a place where you are not wanted.
So how do you maintain a relationship?
After neutralizing the emotional barriers, and the option of a relationship that is good exists in the consciousness at all and strives for it. You need to enter the relationship: you need to make time for the relationship and put it in a higher priority and then it will only get better with time. But if the relationship is not maintained and pushed aside it will play out and eventually the couple will find themselves as two strangers living under the same roof and by chance raising children together.
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